ALWAYS remember to Double-Tap

Like I mentioned in my previous posting, this is a blog that serves numerous purposes. It's entertaining as well as informative. So let's take a moment and get educational now, shall we? I'd like to briefly cover a topic that's...well...entertaining AND informative:

ZOMBIES.

Before I begin, let's be honest. Zombie-talk is very similar to religion/politics: People either believe in them, or don't. People believe there will be an apocalypse, or there won't. It can be a rather controversial subject. I'll tell you this: the presidential candidate who outlines a better zombie survival plan than mine, will get my vote.

I, for one, believe that eventually, a zombie apocalypse is inevitable. With the way people run through our resources, and with the numerous viruses/diseases that the CDC holds, a mistake is bound to happen. When the shit finally does hit the fan, I want to be prepared to survive, amidst the chaos and man-eating crazies. I'll now outline MY plan for survival, in hopes that this will cause you to consider your own.

My plan starts out with lots, and lots, and lots of note-taking from the movie Zombieland. Brilliant movie. Woody Harrelson is hilarious, Bill Murray is in vintage form, and Emma Stone is hotter than Lucifer taking a dump after eating 7-alarm chili. Aside from my review, the movie brings up numerous good points to surviving zombies: Cardio, double-tap, DON'T be a hero, limber up, when in doubt know your way out, just to name a few (these are probably the most important ones, I think). The second part of my plan is ACTUALLY one that I can practice everyday BEFORE the apocalypse hits: Play zombies on Black-Ops. Gotta build up the muscles in my trigger finger to be in top-notch form. Now, the actual plan starts:

1. Hit up the local Wal-Mart and police station/Army surplus store for food supplies, water, guns, and LOTS of ammo.
2. Throw all this stuff in the trunk/backseat of my car, and drive towards the coast.
3. Arrive at the coast.
4. Find a boat and DEEBO that shit.
5. Load the supplies, guns, etc onto the boat.
6. Say goodbye to my car, as I had some good times in it
7. Enter the boat, cast off the line, and take one look back at land before I drive off into open blue seas, wondering what the fuck happened to this world (I'll still blame it on the fact that people are stupid).
8. BE. A. PIRATE. And enjoy a life on the seas...(Kevin Costner, anyone?)

Now, I know you'll all probably be questioning my plan in plenty of spots. Dave, what happens when you run out of supplies?? Dave, what happens if you can't find any guns?? Dave, what happens if people have already raided the Wal-Marts (thank you, rednecks)?? Dave, can't the zombies still get you even if you're on a boat???

Listen, this is merely a plan. It's what I PLAN to do. Sometimes, plans change. If I run out of supplies, I go ashore and get more. That's the reason I have guns. They aren't for show. HOWEVER, in the end, my goal is to make it to the coast, in some way, shape, or form (but not zombie-form. If that happens, I'll obviously be on the other side of this plan). And no, zombies can't get me if I'm on the water. Zombies can't swim. Everyone knows that. If you've watched The Walking Dead, you'll understand how zombies become un-dead, flesh-eating, bastards...

If anybody would like to join, by all means, I'll have a boat big enough for plenty of people. However, stupid people will not be admitted. BUT other than that, sharing is caring, right? I mean, the more trigger fingers we have, the better the chances of survival. You're all more than welcome to join. I just can't fit 20 people into a Honda Civic. You'll have to find your own fucking means of travel to the coast.

There it is. MY plan. I totally dig having this blog to explore my means of creativity. I just can't talk about what I did each day, leading up to my departure from Boston. Let's face it. That would be fucking boring and you'd never get a kick out of reading the crazy and insane thoughts that dwell inside the gray mush that resides in my head. PEACE.


Song of the blog - "Time Of The Season" by The Zombies.