What in the...Procrastination???

Procrastination just sounds like a nasty word. It sounds like one of those words that has no positive value. BUT, the action itself sure is fun. And I'm guilty of this action. Especially on this blog. I owe NUMEROUS props to one, Dylan "Dilly-B" Beagle-Shmeagle, for constantly hounding me on a new Dude Chronicles. Honestly, I've got a lot to update people on. Why the heck SHOULDN'T I be posting new entries??? Dilly-B-man, this is for you and your sanity, amigo.

(On a side-note, the end of college football is upon us. Therefore, I have chosen to craft this entry in the format of one of my favorite college football writers: Pat Forde. His column, the "Forde Yard Dash" is always an enjoyable read during the middle of the week, in preparation for Saturday games. Mr. Forde, your entertainment is greatly appreciated. Here we go:


Forty names, places, events, things, activities, and other useless bits of information that have been a part of my newly discovered life in Boston (Absolutely ZERO props to those of you who have taken a Michael Jackson joke, and replaced Jacko with "Jerry Sandusky." Creativity, people. C'mon)

The journey up north (1) - We left Georgia on a Saturday. We, as in curly-haired Rachel Warren (2), the loving, yet balding, Jon Bradshaw (3), and of course, Milo (4), the cat. Little did we know what kind of adventure we were in for. The drive through the Appalachian Mountains was absolutely gorgeous. We took a brief de-tour and drove around Asheville, NC (5). Our first though was to stop and get lunch in the lovely small town. However, it being a Saturday, parking was at a premium, and we continued our journey.

Our first stop for the night brought us to our nation's capital, Washington D.C. (6). The president had called us earlier on in the day, wanting us to drop by and kick it with him for a little while. Apparently, he had never really hung around truly awesome people before, seeing as how politicians aren't exactly the coolest people in the world. However, we had to politely decline his offer, seeing as how we had no time to deviate from our already awesome adventure. We told him we'd kick it with him another time. He was disheartened, but understood. Back to our adventure:

We stayed at a NICE hotel that goes by the name of "The Mayflower (7)." Gorgeous place. My first thought as we entered our room, was to wonder: "How many politicians had nailed their secretary/mistress here...?" Yea, the rooms were THAT nice. A bottle of champagne was the icing on the cake.

The next day, before checking out, we took a trolley tour of D.C. You all know the places/monuments in D.C. You don't need me to explain them all to you.

Back on the road. Our next stop was a city that never sleeps. A concrete jungle. Think Simon and Garfunkel. Billy Joel. Even Alicia Keys sang a song about it. That's right. Omaha, Nebraska.

Kidding, of course. New York City (8).

Sunday night. 10:30 p.m. And we're sitting in traffic in the Lincoln Tunnel. Yup, only in New York. We eventually made it to the Time Square Marriott Marquis (9), the next hotel on our stop. Like our previous hotel, this place was AWESOME. Ignoring the scary-as-hell height factor, our room was 36 stories above the ground, overlooking Times Square. We couldn't ask for much more. But we did. Another bottle of champagne...

Bottom line: We had a BLAST getting up here. What a freakin' journey. Now onto some Boston stuff.

Family of the year: Aunt Carolyn (10) and Uncle Doug (11). What were these people thinking when they decided to provide me with shelter??? They had no idea what they were getting into. However, they've been nothing short of fantastic, and I simply love em'. Noble assists from cousins Dan Weaver (12), Ben Weaver (13), and Carly Weaver (14).

As for my little buddy, Milo, he's still getting adjusted to hanging out with other animals: Maggie (15), the dog, and Simon (16), the cat. Maggie and Milo get along fine. However, Simon and Milo aren't yet seeing eye-to-eye. Perhaps more time is needed.

Runner-up for family of the year: Aunt Lisa (17) and Uncle Raff (18). These two, along with more noble assists from cousins Megan Rafferty (19), Molly Rafferty (20), and Conor Rafferty (21), threw one HECK of a Thanksgiving dinner. Turkey, potatoes, stuffing, green beans, and enough desserts to make a diabetic take a shot of insulin just by STARING at them. Also, bonus points to Aunt Lisa for putting in extra time by helping me with job ideas.

Un-expected moment so far: Halloween (22). Not just Halloween. But SNOW, on Halloween. Enough snow to cancel Halloween activities and put them off until the following week. Insane, right??? Actually, it kinda made Halloween not so scary, with a bunch of white powder on the ground.

Things a Southerner wouldn't be expected to have, but would need, to survive a New England Winter:


Car scraper/brush (23) - Commonly used to scrape/brush ice/snow off of one's car windshield. Could probably double as tool for self-defense. Not sure how you'd use it though...
Heavy winter jacket (24) - Not just ANY jacket. One that is insulated, waterproof, and able to withstand 12-degree weather. I remember down South, when all I needed was a simple fleece jacket. We DAMN sure ain't in Kansas anymore, Toto.
Snow boots (25)- Boots are essential when being outside in snowy weather. These things have GOT to be waterproof, insulated, and TOUGH. Throw a pair of wool socks (26) on for extra comfort.
Long johns (27) - Laugh if you will. However, these things will damn near save your life. Generally worn UNDER clothes. Traps body heat and only increases the possibility of keeping oneself warm. Can also be worn to bed. However, can be substituted by 10 cats and 2 dogs instead.

Greatest hockey team in the world: GO BRUINS!!! (28). I'll be sure to catch a game here sometime soon.

Job Status: Since experience is greatly lacking on my resume, I've decided to take a different path. Right now, I'm working part-time (yet still getting plenty of hours) at Bed, Bath, And Beyond (29). I'm also volunteering as an assistant basketball coach (30) for my cousin's basketball team for the local recreation league. My next step, is to find an internship (31) to gain the missing experience, which is necessary for an AWESOME job.

The Northern Negatives - These are a few things I've discovered so far, that, well, aren't great about Northern life.

Street signs (32) - Seriously, these bastards don't exist. CROSS-STREET signs are certainly present. However, if you need verification that you're traveling on the correct road, you AIN'T gonna find it. Frustrating.
Bad road conditions (33) - While they suck, it's unavoidable. The brutal winter's take a heavy toll on the roads. I guess it's a lot cheaper for people to constantly get their car re-aligned, rather than re-pave the roads each year. Oh well.
Sweet freakin' tea (34) - Yea. It doesn't exist. Enough said
Waffle House (35) - See above
Chick-Fil-A (36) - Again, see above. Except, there is ONE. In the local mall. And mall Chick-Fil-A isn't the same...
Zaxby's (37) - See above
Tom Brady (38) - I honestly thought the guy would be a golden God up here. However, there are haters mixed in with the lovers. Definitely surprised me. However, I still hate the Michigan graduate bastard.

Being up here sure is exciting. I'm surrounded by the family atmosphere that I've never had, I'm free to choose my own path in life, and quite frankly, I'm able to enjoy life a heck of a lot more. Hell, just last week, I saw Bob Seger for the second time this year out in Worcester (39). That's pronounced "Woo-stah" (just to make sure you don't make the same mistake my ass did, by calling it "Wor-chester". They frown at you for that...). Over New Year's, I'll be in Vermont, skiing and learning how to snowboard. Can't remember the last time I did either of those. I have yet to meet any true "Mass-holes" (40). So far, the outlook is good. I'll keep you posted ;)


El Duderino

School Never Ends...

Fact: You never stop learning. You think it ends when school ends? You think everything you're free from schooling once you receive that high school diploma? How about when you get that college degree? Friends, you are never free from knowledge. Life = School. With each day that the sun rises and with each breath you draw from the invisible air that surrounds us, you learn.

I've been doing a lot of reflecting over the past couple of weeks. I've remembered friends, times with family, adventures at school, fun trips, and just fun memories in general. I've remembered people that I've lost, women that I've loved, and people I've fought with. While 25 is still a very young age, I've endured all of those things in this city/state. Now, in two days, I'm going to depart to a city where I haven't experienced any of the previously listed items. Talk about having guts. Talk about starting over. The slate will be wiped CLEAN. Now, before I start getting TOO sentimental, let me share a few important things that I've learned while living in this city:

1. If you plan on driving on GA. 400N, 85N, 285, or 75N/S between the hours of 3:00 - 6:30pm, clear your schedule. 

2. Remember, the lovely ladies at the Varsity aren't being rude. They're simply greeting you and doing their job.

2. Pepsi???? What the hell is Pepsi???? Screw Pepsi!!!!

3. The HOV lane is better referred to as the HIV lane and truthfully, won't get you to your destination any faster. 

4. If you find yourself on Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., DeKalb Ave., or Metropolitan Ave. at night, STAY FROSTY!!!

5. Georgia or Georgia Tech: PICK A GODDAMN SIDE AND TO HELL WITH THE OTHER!!!

6. Yes, it's a requirement to get dressed to the nines if you intend to spend more than one hour at Phipps Plaza or Lenox Mall. 

7. If you drive around Buckhead in a Hyundai, Honda, or Toyota, you might feel under-valued and under-appreciated. 

8. When feeding onto the 75/85 connecter from 75S, remember to get all the way over to the left to avoid being cursed at and repeatedly called an idiot.

9. Yea. That's right. We held the Olympics here in '96. We're badass. We're celebrities. Were they a success? Not really. But we're still badass. 

10. It's obvious that if Bobby Cox ran for governor of Georgia, he'd be a shoe-in.

11. The Thrashers? Who are they? You're sure they were a professional hockey team? 'Cuz I've never heard of them...

12. For as long as I can remember, the Hawks have been more of a blooper reel than a Highlight Factory.

13. The water fountains at Centennial Olympic park should not be used for consumption. NOT a good idea. And the Chattahoochee River??? *shudders*

14. If you plan on going 30+ miles outside of the perimeter in ANY direction, the music will change to country, trucks and tires will be bigger, fishing, hunting, and beer drinking are weekend activities, and if you listen closely, you MIGHT hear the faint twanging of banjoes...

15. Lakewood Amphitheater is the GREATEST concert venue. And yea, I said Lakewood. Screw you, corporate sponsers.

16 (bonus). Lastly, and most important, as of recent, living in once place for 25 years and choosing to live in that same city for the next ----teen years won't help me mature into the responsible and independent adult that I know I'm capable of being. The only way to speed up the growing-up process, is to step outside my comfort zone and take the journey of a lifetime. 

I've accomplished a ton of things in my final month of being here. I've said good-bye to tons of friends (all of whom I will miss dearly). I saw my first Notre Dame victory over a RANKED Michigan State team IN PERSON. But above all, I've enjoyed the surrounding atmosphere of my final month in this city/state. I've had a good feeling throughout it all, and I'm hoping for that good feeling to follow me on my upcoming three day, 1110 mile trip up to Boston. Stay tuned for more developments.

- El Duderino

No-shave September - November?

Numerous people have asked me one question, upon breaking the news of shipping up to Boston: Dave. Why??? I figured I would take this very brief time that I have, to explain why I've decided to move up north.

First off, the unemployment rate in Boston is in the top five of the LOWEST in the country. That means, better job market and many more opportunities. If this was the only reason for my move, then it would be the one and only reason I needed. It's a damn good reason.

Second, the rest of my family lives up north. I've got an uncle and two cousins in Easton, Pennsylvania, an aunt and uncle and THREE cousins in Scituate, Mass., and and aunt and uncle and one more cousin in Bedford, Mass (with whom I'll be living). I'm an only child. I like my family (the sane side, anyway). One of the parts of my childhood that I regret, was not being closer to my family (distance-wise). I didn't have my cousins, or aunts, or uncles to grow up with. I have two half-brothers, but of course, they were never around either.

Third (and MY personal reason), Boston has winning teams. Now, if you HONESTLY think that I'm moving up there to be surrounded by winning sports teams, then please do me a favor and take a swan dive off of the South Rim of the Grand Canyon. This just happens to be an added bonus of my relocation. It would be exciting (not to mention a change of pace) to be in a city where the teams know nothing, except how to win. All though, I would be the only anti-Patriots fan in Boston. So they don't count. Tom Brady can suck it. I don't care how good he is. Suck a big one, Tom. You know you secretly want to.

Fourth. Let's be frank. Most of you that know me, know that I don't belong down here in the south. The Bible Belt. A predominantly red state. Just not me. Now lets take a look at Massachusetts: North of the Mason-Dixon line. One of the bluest states in the union. Yea, that's more like it.

Fifth reason. I NEED an adventure. Most of you wouldn't understand this, since you aren't me. And I ain't gonna' lie. Being me is great. But, I have absolutely nothing holding me back here in Atlanta, apart from my parents. I'm a free spirit. I also have a nomadic personality. For those of you that DON'T use big words, it means that I like to move to different living spaces over time. A journey up to Boston is a GREAT time for an adventure. I've already got my two best friends on board with me, and we'll be taking a hell of a trip up north. We'll reach Boston eventually, but not without some fun along the way.

There you go. I believe I've given you more than enough reasons. If you'll excuse me, I need some grub, and to go pack a bag. This guy is headed off to Chicago/South Bend to see Notre Dame play Michigan State this Saturday. Which leads me to another point. I've decided that I'm not shaving until Notre Dame wins a game. With the way they've been playing lately, No-Shave November might become a two month thing...Anyway, there won't be any new postings until Sunday when I return. So be patient. I know you'll all be waiting anxiously for a new one. Yea...



Song of the blog - "Roll Me Away" by Bob Seger

ALWAYS remember to Double-Tap

Like I mentioned in my previous posting, this is a blog that serves numerous purposes. It's entertaining as well as informative. So let's take a moment and get educational now, shall we? I'd like to briefly cover a topic that's...well...entertaining AND informative:

ZOMBIES.

Before I begin, let's be honest. Zombie-talk is very similar to religion/politics: People either believe in them, or don't. People believe there will be an apocalypse, or there won't. It can be a rather controversial subject. I'll tell you this: the presidential candidate who outlines a better zombie survival plan than mine, will get my vote.

I, for one, believe that eventually, a zombie apocalypse is inevitable. With the way people run through our resources, and with the numerous viruses/diseases that the CDC holds, a mistake is bound to happen. When the shit finally does hit the fan, I want to be prepared to survive, amidst the chaos and man-eating crazies. I'll now outline MY plan for survival, in hopes that this will cause you to consider your own.

My plan starts out with lots, and lots, and lots of note-taking from the movie Zombieland. Brilliant movie. Woody Harrelson is hilarious, Bill Murray is in vintage form, and Emma Stone is hotter than Lucifer taking a dump after eating 7-alarm chili. Aside from my review, the movie brings up numerous good points to surviving zombies: Cardio, double-tap, DON'T be a hero, limber up, when in doubt know your way out, just to name a few (these are probably the most important ones, I think). The second part of my plan is ACTUALLY one that I can practice everyday BEFORE the apocalypse hits: Play zombies on Black-Ops. Gotta build up the muscles in my trigger finger to be in top-notch form. Now, the actual plan starts:

1. Hit up the local Wal-Mart and police station/Army surplus store for food supplies, water, guns, and LOTS of ammo.
2. Throw all this stuff in the trunk/backseat of my car, and drive towards the coast.
3. Arrive at the coast.
4. Find a boat and DEEBO that shit.
5. Load the supplies, guns, etc onto the boat.
6. Say goodbye to my car, as I had some good times in it
7. Enter the boat, cast off the line, and take one look back at land before I drive off into open blue seas, wondering what the fuck happened to this world (I'll still blame it on the fact that people are stupid).
8. BE. A. PIRATE. And enjoy a life on the seas...(Kevin Costner, anyone?)

Now, I know you'll all probably be questioning my plan in plenty of spots. Dave, what happens when you run out of supplies?? Dave, what happens if you can't find any guns?? Dave, what happens if people have already raided the Wal-Marts (thank you, rednecks)?? Dave, can't the zombies still get you even if you're on a boat???

Listen, this is merely a plan. It's what I PLAN to do. Sometimes, plans change. If I run out of supplies, I go ashore and get more. That's the reason I have guns. They aren't for show. HOWEVER, in the end, my goal is to make it to the coast, in some way, shape, or form (but not zombie-form. If that happens, I'll obviously be on the other side of this plan). And no, zombies can't get me if I'm on the water. Zombies can't swim. Everyone knows that. If you've watched The Walking Dead, you'll understand how zombies become un-dead, flesh-eating, bastards...

If anybody would like to join, by all means, I'll have a boat big enough for plenty of people. However, stupid people will not be admitted. BUT other than that, sharing is caring, right? I mean, the more trigger fingers we have, the better the chances of survival. You're all more than welcome to join. I just can't fit 20 people into a Honda Civic. You'll have to find your own fucking means of travel to the coast.

There it is. MY plan. I totally dig having this blog to explore my means of creativity. I just can't talk about what I did each day, leading up to my departure from Boston. Let's face it. That would be fucking boring and you'd never get a kick out of reading the crazy and insane thoughts that dwell inside the gray mush that resides in my head. PEACE.


Song of the blog - "Time Of The Season" by The Zombies.

Opening Remarks/Starting the Chronicles

The very talented comedian Lewis Black once said: "And if you're Twittering or blogging, F--K YOU!!!! Where do you get the massive ego to think that anyone gives a shit about what you're doing?" While Mr. Black can make ANYTHING funny with enough expletives, I'll have to disagree with him when it comes to blogging. In today's day and age, a blog is an excellent way for a writer to get a start, or some experience. After reading numerous other blogs that my friends have started, I finally decided that right NOW would be the opportune time to start one of my own. Like, literally, right NOW. Why NOW, you ask???

Boston. The Red Sox. The Bruins (Stanley Cup champs). The Patriots (even though Tom Brady is the equivalent of a dead bug which met the sole of my shoe). A city filled to the brim with history. I've always loved Boston. And after 25 years of living in one city, with nothing holding me back, I decided that it was high time for a change of scenery. And on October 8th, I'll be packing up my car (and Milo) and moving up to Boston. I figured that through this blog, I would chronicle my remaining days in Atlanta, as well as the journey up to Boston, AND my life in a new city. Of course, I'll also use this blog to share my opinions on certain things, such as sports, maybe some politics, people, etc. Do I care if you agree with these? Of course not. This is my blog. It probably won't make sense half of the time, or it might have small grammatical errors from time to time. But these are merely the thoughts in my brain, spilling out onto electronic paper. 

So it begins. This is my first entry. Taking my blog's virginity. But I promise I'll call it back. Stay tuned for plenty more.

Song of the blog - "Shipping Up To Boston" by The Dropkick Murphys